Whining & Dining

Miss me? Then follow me to Embrace The Chaos!

Emma, here. I know it's been a while, but it's not you, it's me. You see I discovered a new thing, its faster, takes less commitment and I get immediate satisfaction. Yes, Twitter has been my new thing for the last couple of months. But now, even Twitter doesn't satisfy my needs to express myself. So I am happy to say that I have a new blog: Embrace the Chaos. I am so proud to be part of the MSN.CA family, as part of their parenting section on their Lifestyle page (that's a mouthful).

I will be blogging everyday! And yes, there will be lots of food stories and recipes. And more about the chaos of a family of five, at the table and also away from it. I am hoping that Eshun will drop by as well to help me out on the recipe side. So please come on over to Embrace the Chaos and let me know what you think!

And while I am on the self-promotion soapbox. Tell your American friends that Whining & Dining: Mealtime Survival for Picky Eaters and Families Who Love Them, is now available on Amazon.com. So you can send them a copy -- makes a great holiday gift!

(and you can follow me on Twitter too: @whiningndining.

Bake Bread for Inner Peace

These are anxious times, really anxious.  The stress of the modern times seems to lead to a restlessness of sorts. As a friend of mine says it’s like everyone around us is going crazy. I have friends itching for a different job, a different partner and/or a different path.  It’s like high school all over again – the feeling that you are not quite in control of your life but it is still up to you to make life-changing decisions. What is the response to such anxiety?  Baking bread. It’s not much really.  Using flour and yeast to settle yourself.  But the mindless business of kneading, and the elation of seeing a dough double in size is a little bit of happiness. And its hard to be too grumpy with the smell of baking bread in the air.

There are a lot of bread geeks around. They know a lot about glutens and proteins and sugars. And they are awfully good to have a phone call away. But you don’t need to know all that stuff. All you need is a recipe and yeast and about three hours to be around the house.

So far I’ve made whole wheat sandwich bread which was good and satisfying. Yesterday, I made cinnamon raisin bread.  And all I can say is the smell was ridiculously delicious, and I don’t really like cinnamon that much.  I wasn’t totally happy with the recipe so I won’t post it (oh no am I becoming a yeast geek?). But I will post the easy and tasty whole wheat recipe which my friend Andrea gave me.  She is one of those people who orders special flours and has her own sourdough starter. 

 

It is a pretty loose recipe, if you want something a bit more stringent check out: www.thefreshloaf.com

Incredibly easy, everyday sandwich bread  

Ingredients

2 ½ tsp (1 envelope) active dry yeast

2 cups warm tap water (about 110 degrees)

3 – 3 ½ cups unbleached all-purpose flour

2 cups whole wheat flour

1 tbl. salt

2 tbl. honey

5 tbl. melted butter (or vegetable oil, if you want the bread to be parve, but butter is better)

 

1.       Measure water into liquid measuring cup, whisk in yeast. Let sit a few minutes, then whisk in honey.

2.       Put 3 cups white flour and 2 cups whole wheat flour in bowl of standing mixer.  Add salt, yeast and honey mixture, and melted butter and mix on medium low with dough hook for about 5 minutes.  [You can do other things while the mixer is working, but keep an eye on it, because sometimes the bowl pops off if the mixture gets very stiff.]  The dough should be smooth and elastic and should clean the sides of the bowl.  If it is still sticky, add remaining ½ cup flour, a little at a time.

3.       Take the dough out of the bowl, smear a little oil in the bowl. Put the dough back and turn it to coat with oil.  Cover with plastic wrap and let sit about an hour, until doubled.

4.       Grease two loaf pans.  Turn the risen dough out on to counter and divide in half.  Using one piece, flatten it into a rough rectangle.  Fold in the short ends of the dough to middle, about the length of the pan, then roll up the dough the long way to make a loaf. (check out video on http://www.thefreshloaf.com/) Put it in the pan, seam side down. Do the same with the second loaf.  Cover them both with plastic and let sit about an hour.

5.       Twenty minutes or so before the loaves have risen, preheat the oven to 400 and be sure rack is in middle of oven.  When loaves are risen, bake for about 30 minutes until golden and firm (or internal temp is about 220).  Take out of oven, let set for five minutes.  Then unmold on a rack to cool completely.  Et voila!

I Picked a Battle

Everyone has to take a stand on something. And I have two: well at least two that I can think of right now. First off, I will not buy garlic from China.  There is lots of garlic grown right here in Ontario that can be found all over the city.  And I just will not pay for garlic that has been flown here from across the world and comes from who knows what kind of growing conditions.

The second thing is that I will not make white rice. Again, why white rice instead of all things white? Simple. I like it, brown rice is way better than other brown foods. For instance, whole wheat pasta is not good, it’s edible but it’s not delicious. But I like brown rice. And brown rice is healthier and tastes way better as leftovers (especially with a little tahini dressing). And our family gets our fill of the white stuff from our copious amount of Asian take-out.

Now my kids don’t really care about the garlic thing. They don’t even know that they eat it. But they care about the rice.  A bowl of brown rice is met with howls of protest and disgust. Why can’t we have white rice? Why aren’t you a good parent – According to my son, a good mother wants her kids to be happy, and if I make brown rice I obviously don’t want him to be happy, ergo I am a bad parent. (this kids is heading for a Master’s in philosophy). I’m not a total purist I put butter and salt on it.  Even my husband grumbles at the beige rice.  Even my nanny who loves rice more than anything in the world will not touch the brown rice.

So be it. I stumble on. I love the nuttiness and the little bounce back you get when you bite it and I can feel sanctimonious. And don’t kid yourself when it comes to parenting feeling sanctimonious is about as good as it gets.

But then tonight a miracle happened – ok it wasn’t not a vision from on high. I didn’t even notice it until I was putting the dishes in the dishwasher. But the kids’ bowls were empty. I was not flushing brown rice down the sink; I was not eating cold rice for dessert. They at it and they didn’t say anything. Not one negative comment.  I have won! I only wish I could savour this victory, but I’m not a newbie I know that the brown rice peace accord will not last.  And I’m a bit sorry there aren’t any leftovers for lunch tomorrow.

(And I know I don't have to say it, but in Whining and Dining, we reccomend soaking the rice for at least an hour before cooking and it cooks way faster. I personally use a rice cooker because I am a total idiot when it comes to rice but Fine Cooking has an oven method which a fellow foodie swears by -- I tried it and screwed it up but she is probably right).

The hits of '08

 I am looking back on 2008 and I have cooked, purchased or reheated thousands of meals for my three kids. Compared to last year, one is less picky, one is more picky and one really only wants macaroni and cheese everyday. So in a desperate bid to tally up some success in the kitchen arena I have made a top 10 list of highlights of our year in food.

In no particular order:

Highs and Lows:  Thanks to a friend we have introduced the listing of highs and lows (also called roses and thorns) around the table. Each family member gets to list their best and worst parts of the day.  Sometimes it can be surprising what they come up with, sometimes touching and sometimes they get a chance to insult their siblings (which we try and keep to a minimum). But the best part of this is that it encourages connection, listening and takes the focus off of the food and puts it where it should be: on the family.

Honey Mustard Chicken:  One dish that everyone enjoys and I don’t mind making because it is so simple! Equal parts Dijon, honey and a couple tablespoons of soy sauce slather over boneless thighs and bake. Yum. (Just remember to put some hot sauce on table for parents). (A fuller recipe is available at www.whininganddining.ca)

Time-Wise Brown Rice from Dainty: You boil it like pasta and it takes only 15 minutes. Caveat: it’s not so delicious and it doesn’t have the same amount of fibre as brown rice. But if I make it I am not breaking my own rule about only serving white rice when it comes via the take-out gods.

Which brings me to Asian Take-out:  In our house, Chinese/Japanese and Thai are all big winners. Yes, one reason is because the kids get to eat white rice. But also because for some reason saucy food all mixed up together is less threatening in a take-out container then if I make it. I have a son who won’t eat sauce but eats an entire serving of mango chicken and pad thai. My macaroni and cheese kid loves sticky rice. And my daughter loves sushi with tobiko (called crunchy red balls in our family vernacular). Honourable mention here is Dim Sum: we go every weekend.

Spinach Pie: So sorry if you don’t live on the Danforth because if you did you would have been feeding your children the delicious Spanokapita from Athens Bakery since they could eat solids. And it is the perfect combination of healthy and inexpensive plus a non-guilt inducing cop-out for mom. I challenge anyone to make it as good and as cheaply as Athens does.

Stonyfield Yogurt: the world’s best yogurt. Creamy, flavourful and delicious and they sell it at Loblaw’s. (Ok, Liberty eight percent yogurt is actually the best but even I, who cannot stomach no-fat yogurt because it tastes like white jello, can justify an 8 percent yogurt too often.)

Baked Apples: Baking a healthy, warming and popular treat for the kids is great. But finally getting rid of the spongy apples left over from apple picking – Priceless

Shrimp: Shrimp in all forms: sautéed, grilled and wrapped up in har gow and wontons. Easy, kid-loving food. (Sorry to plug  myself but we have a great recipe in our book Whining and DIning: Mealtime Survival for Picky Eaters and Families that Love Them)

Foxley: Because mommy and daddy need a reminder of why they started this whole crazy family thing in the first place.  And a restaurant that does not take reservations and serves food that blows out all your tastebuds is definitely adults-only. 207 Ossington Ave. (at Dundas St. W.) 416-534-8520

Farmer’s Markets and Small Specialty Stores: Taking my kids to places where the purveyors care about what they are selling and are willing to let my kids taste and talk about food until they find something they like is well worth the time and expense.

Subtle Sabotage

My husband and I were watching an interesting documentary on the state of education in the U.S. (depressing) when I could not stop myself from screaming out loud. An otherwise very nice earnest family was sitting around the table (yey family meals!) but on their table was a dish of hot dogs, some white buns and a pot of Kraft dinner, each family member had a can of pepsi or Mountain Dew and the kicker, the part I really could not get over was the giant, and I mean Costco-sized tub of Miracle Whip. What was the Miracle Whip for? The hot dogs or the KD?  And this was a meal they put on the table when they knew they were going to be filmed for TV.  The sad part was that this was a nice family trying to do the best for their kids. And it just made me think, we have a lot of work to do.

But before I get all high-and-mighty, it did make me think about how do I sabotage my kids and our family meals? Is it the focus I put on one child while the other is flying under the radar?  Is it the energy in finding the perfect steak? Is it the steaming of the same veggies over and over because I can’t be bothered to put some energy into it, knowing I will be the only one eating them?  The problem is that I have fallen into a rut, it’s not a hot dog and KD rut, but it’s still a hole that I have to do some work to get out of.

I have been underestimating my kids, allowing them to take the easy way out. It happened slowly, the casual ease of summer, turning into the “I-don’t-want-to-cause stress” fall.  But that’s over. So tonight I am making scallops rainbow trout with fennel, Isreali cous cous and some kind of veggie. Isreali cous cous you ask, what is that? It is a larger form of cous cous, so instead of those tiny little bits that get everywhere it is larger balls (sort of the size of barley). The kids love it and I feel that I am giving them some international flavour, even though the boys just eat it with olive oil.  The rest of us have it with goat cheese, basil and some tomatoes and if I have any roasted veggies I chop them up small and throw them in too.  You can find Isreali cous cous at some supermarkets (it is in a orange bag) and bulk stores. I’ve got some work to do too. And I am throwing in the scallops in desperation, since they all love shrimp can scallops not be far behind?

Fruit Fly Diversion Techniques

The fruit flies are taking over my kitchen. I think there is a co-ordinated campaign to make me crazy. Even when I touch a cupboard door, a little fly zings overhead. But it makes me so sad to put all my fruit is in the fridge—not just because my glorious peaches are wrinkling but because I don’t like biting into cold fruit (I know talk to my dentist, use Sensodyne).  So I am on a mission to use it all up quickly. As usual my kids are working against me.  One child keeps asking for mangoes – which I have to say are not looking too good this time of year and also go against my attempts at eating local. (If you can’t eat local in August when can you?). And the other actually ate an entire bag of crappy supermarket frozen blueberries yesterday, ignoring my 12 dollar basket of blueberries in the fridge, and staining everything in the process – including his toothbrush.

So I am inspired to bake. A little heat will be worth turning my peaches and berries into a cake that I can take up north. I make this cake all the time in summer because it’s easy and I can throw whatever I want on top. And I like it when people are really impressed that I bake. It’s from a brilliant book called Classic Home Desserts by Richard Sax. Every baked item you can think of is in there in many different forms. Sax calls it the “All-Time Best Summer Fruit Torte” and he got it from Marian Burros who makes it with halved purple plums. It works with raspberries, apples and cranberries too.

All-Time Best Summer Fruit Torte

Makes one 8-inch or a thin 9-inch single layer cake. Can be doubled.

½ cup (one stick) unsalted butter, softened

¾ cup sugar

1 tsp pure vanilla

2 large eggs

1 cup all-purpose flour

1 tbsp baking powder

Pinch of salt

2 peaches or nectarines, peeled, pitted and sliced

½ cup blueberries

Sugar and cinnamon for sprinkling

Preheat the oven to 350 and butter cake pan.

Beat (in bowl with wooden spoon, or with an electric mixer) the butter until light. Add sugar and vanilla until fluffy. Beat in egg at one at a time.

In a small bowl, add flour, baking powder and salt. Add to butter mixture and stir until just combined.

Scrape the batter into pan, smooth the top. Scatter the fruit randomly and sprinkle with sugar and cinnamon.

Bake until golden brown and baked through about 45 minutes. Cool on a rack, serve at room temperature.

Addendum: Eshun has just told me that making a fruit fly trap actually works. Here’s what she does: she adds balsamic vinegar, and a piece of old fruit into a shallow bowl, covers it with saran wrap and makes lots of teeny, tiny holes into the top so the fruit flies fly in and then get trapped and drown in the vinegar. And yes, she does get some satisfaction from watching them die.

Trouble at the Table

If you are having a lot of stress around mealtime there are resources out there for you. If you live in the Toronto area, I (Emma) am leading a course with Joy Morrasutti entitled Trouble at the Table on Thursday, May 22 at Yonge and Lawrence. This is a course put together by the Parenting Network which is overseen by Beverly Catchart-Ross. I have written about Beverly before and I can not say enough about her and her courses.  If you need some perspecive and some ideas on how to handle tough situations, which let's be honest is about everyday in parenting, check out the Parenting Network! And then you to can be part of the "cult" of Beverly-ites. (oh she would be mad that I said that).  And when the days get tough, you can ask yourself WWBD (What Would Beverly Do)and then if that reptilian part of your brain is action you can say Who the ^%$#% cares.....

Ellyn Satter is a must-read for all parents. It should be a pre-requisite for all new parents and could easily replace most of what is out there. She is a pioneer in the area of feeding kids.  She advocates a strict division of responsibility (you choose food, they choose how much.... see Whining and Dining for more info) even in cases of child obesity.  When you are feeling like you just can't trust your kids to make good choices for themselves, she is a great person to look to to bolster up your confidence. Child of Mine is a great place to start, but she is coming out with a new edition of Secrets of Feeding a Family soon.  To be honest its not the most scintillating read, but well worth it!

Unfortunately books and courses can not answer all your questions or solve all your problems but sometimes one line, or one small tool can change the way you handle your kids. And as group of moms who I discuss parenting with came to realize, your kids will act innapropriately no matter what you do, it's all in how you handle it.

Going for the Jugular

A good friend of Whining and Dining was wondering why we hadn’t blogged lately.  And.... we have no good reason. In fact I probably blog daily in my head but it doesn’t quite reach the keyboard. So here we are starting up again...

When we wrote the book, the oldest child in our respective families was six, and now he is eight. Eight is different than six in the way that three is different than 3 months.  Eight year olds are mouthy, they have ‘tude, they sing nasty little ditties that they learned from their extremely innocent-looking friends. And by now they have learned your weak spots.  My eight-year old was having a particularly difficult day, maybe he had a bad Pokemon card trade, maybe his teacher yelled at him. Nonetheless, he came to dinner with an agenda larger than he is.  He took one look at the table and started yelling: “I don’t want that!” to which I calmly responded. He escalated and he escalated until he came up with this keeper, “You are a bad cook, you are a really bad cook.  YOU ARE JUST LIKE A NORMAL PERSON IN THE KITCHEN!”  I had to laugh, because yes, I am just like a normal person in the kitchen, I use ready-made products, I throw stuff together at a moment’s notice and sometimes it doesn’t work out so well. But on this particular evening what did I have the gall to serve?  Homemade chicken fingers.  Yes, I am a terrible person who does not take her children’s feelings into account. I made chicken fingers and I even used authentic panko, not the whole wheat organic panko which makes everything brown, the real junky panko from the Asian food market. And yet, I am a bad cook.  This was a good reminder that kids do want to push your buttons, sometimes they do want to fight and they will try and hurt you just to get your attention.  All we, parents can control is our reaction.  And my reaction on this day was to put some ketchup on his plate and eat up those horrible chicken fingers myself. Yum!  My eight-year old had yogurt, and some of the crispy bits that were leftover.

A Not So Deceptive Rant

I may regret this but I am going to weigh in on the deceptively, sneaky process of adding pureed vegetables to kids food. I am going to add this disclaimer: I have not tried the recipes in either Jessica Seinfeld's book Deceptively Delicious or the Sneaky Chef by Missy Chase Lapine. And I won't. Because I don't want spinach in my brownies!! That's gross... and short-sighted.

As we say in our book Whining and Dining, keeping your long-term goals in mind is the most important thing when feeding your kids. And every parent's long-term goal should be teaching their kids to make good choices for themselves. And puréeing cauliflower or beets or spinach and hiding them in dark brown or some other colour-appropriate food is not teaching kids to eat vegetables. It is allowing them to go on and eat the foods that they are comfortable with while you smile sanctimoniously in the background pleased that you shoved some pureed veggies down them without them noticing. And how much nutrients are they getting from a doubly-processed vegetable spread out throughout a recipe, I have no idea. But probably not enough to make it worth the time and effort and probably not enough to counteract the payback you are going to get when your child walks in and catches you adding spinach to their brownie.

We do advocate the hide-and-seek method on occasion. Our Meatloaf and the Pasta Red Sauce do have some extra "hidden" veggies in it. We throw in wheat germ and flax when we remember. But it is a tool that we employ on occasion. Not every meal has to be an occasion at hiding veggies in our kids' (or our) diet. Some foods are treats and are special because they are not remarkably nutritious and we make them on special occasions to treat ourselves and our kids.

The recipes that I looked in Deceptively Delicious at are full of reduced fat products. Eshun and I are not big fans of low-fat products or of margarine. We think it is better to experience the true taste of things in smaller amounts then the chemically, rubbery taste of low-fat items. And we both hate margarine, in all forms.

As for whether Jessica Seinfeld wrote, cooked or ate any of the recipes, I do not know and I do not care. I just wish I was on Oprah.